Failing Fast | What Can I Do?

Over the last few weeks I've felt a strong desire to do something, anything, to stop the hate and injustice thrown at black people on a daily basis. I've gone through the ups and downs of avoiding social media to being glued to it for hours. Revolution is in the air and many people have said it feels like there's a shift happening in the world. The metaphorical (and in many cities literal) fire burning in this country may have finally exploded due to the murder of George Floyd, but we all know it's been burning for quite some time now.

And this feeling--this desire to take action in some way--has me feeling both empowered and lost. I'm not an activist. I'm not as well versed in politics as I'd like to be. I haven't used my time to fight the system. But, I know I don't want to let this feeling die out and have done little to nothing with it. So what can I do?

I've decided that I first need to look at myself. And I don't mean that in a "as long as I'm kind to others and a good person I'm doing my part" sort of way. I mean, what are my strengths? Where do my passions lie? What will both fulfill me and make an impact? Well, the more I think about it the more I believe that my place in this revolution involves the minds of young black children. The problems in our society go well beyond police brutality or racial profiling. They touch our own homes, our schools, our careers and our stores. So while I can absolutely still participate in local decision making and hold my police and elected officials accountable, I think that my place is with my people.

One of the biggest reasons I believe we're still dealing with the same racist bullshit is because we were sold the myth that racism went away when laws changed. When it became socially unacceptable to be blatantly racist, the look and feel of racism transformed. It became microaggressions and private dinner table conversations. It dug deeper into our institutions and disguised itself. It hid in the shadows, popping out when someone just couldn't contain themselves anymore. But, on the surface we were sold the dream that all was well and we as a society were getting better. That racism was evolving away, not transforming into a new demon. All we had to do was be respectful and strive for success and we could out-earn, out-smile and out-polite racism.

But we all know that was a lie. So again I ask, what can I do? I think the best thing for me to do as I think about that question is have faith that others are asking themselves the same thing. I have to have faith in my people and in this revolution that everyone will find their place and, in their own way, sniff out where racism has been hiding (and in many cases, blatantly roaming free). That the people who are passionate about the film and television industries will fight for honest reflections of our people. That employees will speak up and demand change in their workplaces. That lawyers and political activists will work to dismantle and reform our (in)justice system. That curated lists of black owned businesses will continue to be shared and supported.

As for me? I've decided that my first order of business is to do as much work as possible to build the minds and self esteem of young black and brown people. Over the last few years it's been a journey for me to unlearn the idea that not being "stereotypical" is a saving grace for black folk. That the "right" grammar, education, clothes or interests makes you more acceptable, and thus safer. I've had to grapple with code switching and being overly friendly/polite. And as I was thinking about how I can be of service to my community I thought, "it would be so much easier if young people didn't have to go through the mental gymnastics of unlearning these types of behaviors and just, be. If they didn't have that little voice in their heads always being concerned about proving they're good enough."

So that's what I want to do. I want to stomp out the idea of being a model minority and promote the idea of being whoever you are. Being enough. Nipping colorism and hair insecurity and "real" jobs in the bud. Cancelling the idea that "we" don't like certain music or shows. That "we" are competing against each other for a limited number of spots. That "we" were set up by this system and are stuck. By reinforcing these ideas on your young people we are indeed failing fast. But it doesn't have to be this way.

Having the strength to forget about how others are perceiving you, breaking generational curses and doing what makes you confident and happy is no easy task. But I believe that even looking at Gen Z we're seeing a glimpse of what can be done when we empower and let young people shed expectations and live as they are. So if I can help magnify those feelings throughout my community then I'll be satisfied.

So for now, I'll start with the young people in my life. My family and friends that have had the misfortune of those seeds of insecurity being planted in their minds before they could even realize it. I'm making a promise to speak up and educate when a show, or even family themselves, instill negative ideas about who we are and what we're capable of. I'm going to hold my people accountable for their actions and ask them to look at themselves and honor their true intentions. I refuse to let those seeds of insecurity continue to grow. And I will hold myself to these same standards as I continue to do the work to reverse the damage of racism and societal pressures.